You might get what you ask for…
I am not sad to see the name go. Just glad that we can finally move on from it.
I know I am talking in riddles, so I shall cease. Basically the name came down to self-glorification. In calling the company that name, I was trying to share in the glory of God – even if by my mind it was to bring glory to him, I would have been sharing it. Which isn’t a good idea, if I wish to flee his wrath.
And since clearing up all the work I had to do, which was all unpaid, I entered into a small spate of depression. Without vision people perish, and my vision was only limited till the end of the week, if that.
Today (Friday) was not going so well. Yesterday I spent the afternoon constructing some comic stuff, not because it was something to do but because I had nothing else to do. This morning I was playing Demon Hunter songs on accoustic guitar because I had nothing else to do. Work was starting to become an absolute bludge.
Then I went home for lunch.
At home AB called – I would call him my business mentor – and had a chat about some stuff to do with work. He said that he is getting overload and looking at passing some smaller jobs over to me, which is unreal.
I was walking back to work and I started to think about what had happened. God gave me a rebuke. I did not push in, and things worked out for good. I could have spent the time drawing closer to him, but I didn’t. I didn’t cry out. I didn’t call on his name, and if I did it didn’t last long.
I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve all this grace. And he still pours it out.
Forgive me, Father.